Saturday, June 11, 2011

Wrong side of life (at least just for the day)

I have been in a piss ass attitude all day. I am not entirely sure why. It's possible that in my dreams I got angry about something and got up that way or maybe it was because I was angry when I went to bed. I have a bad habit of whining when I don't feel good or hurt and last night I felt like a 2 year old. And like a 2 year old I managed to snap at my husband who innocently enough asked if I was gonna read my book. (sorry didn't mean to be vexed with you). So when I woke up this morning I couldn't remember any of my dream which could have been a nightmare for all that it mattered. It seems lately that I am only allowed to remember my nightmares so figure that out.

I felt so terrible even my hair hurt. Every time I brushed my tangled mess it was like a thousand tiny screams were being rent through the air. I am pretty sure my hair has a mind of its own because less than ten mins later it was back to sporting a huge knot. I guess that is what I get for trying to tame it and having thick hair to begin with.( It's from my dad's side of the family.)

So to cheer my unhappy ass up I decided to try and blog and all that would pour forth from my brittle fingernail tips was depressing bullshit.. like stuff about Kevorkian and other equally controversial stuff. I was in no mood to fight with complete strangers on my views and perspective of things. So I said fuck it and decided to not blog at all.

All day today I felt that I needed to do something to get me out of this funk and still nothing happened. I guess I could have done laundry but that is just as depressing especially while you watch your 15 year old throw all her clothes out into the hallway making it look like her room threw up. Did I mention I hate fucking laundry?

Ok I hate all household chores and if I can have a wish I would wish that everything was done all the time. That way I wouldn't have to do anything but create awesome funny shit and play with my kids before they decide mom isn't fun to be around anymore. Sometimes I wish I could blink and things would just be perfect or maybe wriggle my nose like Sam from Bewitched and again things would be done.

Well as of 2 days now I have been writing again. I started a story back in high school and have decided to upgrade it from a short story to a novel (or at least something longer than a short story or novella) and flesh out my characters. Blogging has helped me continue to write. Someone told me once to just keep writing and eventually I will strike gold and have a masterpiece. The only bad part is the trial and error I have to do to get to perfection or as close to perfection as I can.

I figured out why I am suffering migraines. I blame the weather and lack of caffeine in my system. Basically I have decided to change my diet and instead of completely going cold turkey by taking pop/soda out of my daily calorie intake I have dropped it down to about 1-2 cans a day. I also drink tea but that doesn't count because it doesn't have carbonation. So anyway I have started making plans to monitor how much I eat and how much I make (because I can cook for an army, or I am Italian and its in my genes.).  There is a saying that if you don't like the weather just wait five mins and it will change. One week we have rain/snow/sleet/hail and then next week we have temperatures that make us think we should go to the lake. But we know better because that shit will be freezing and what kind of lake experience is that?

Well I am hoping that my funny  comes back because dammit I miss it. Maybe I should stop listening to Alt Rock? Nahhh because that shit is fantastic. So far my favorite songs so far are Not Strong Enough by Apocalyptica featuring Brent the man has a sexy voice.  Hollywood Undead is my other favorite and pretty much anything they rap is amazing. It has also helped me to focus on my writing so no I can't stop listening to Alt Rock.

I thought about pulling a Peter Griffin by doing a segment of You know what Grinds my Gears? But decided against it. Some of them won't be long enough and I know that I couldn't keep up with it all the time so screw it. I might just do it once a week and see where it takes me.

And its about an hour after midnight here which means I can go to bed nightmare free. So off I go and here's to hoping that I end up in a better mood. I mean its the weekend.. its supposed to be fun.. Right?


Anonymous said...

Aww I didn't know you weren't feeling well. I feel bad for bothering you. I get in those moods as well. In fact was in one Thursday. Im here anytime you need to vent, scream, do whatever. Blogging is a good way to relieve stress so I have heard.

Great blog!

Lilscorpiosweetie said...

Nahh you weren't bothering me. I do like talking to you. I just was in a funk and I know the source so I am working around it to try to be a little more cheerful. But its hard.