Rooster Teeth = Cock Bite

Ok so I was having a conversation the other day about how if I just take the written test and pass I can get my class N endorsement. A class N endorsement is to drive a tank. I was toying with the idea of getting my CDL and decided maybe I want my tank endorsement as well as my hazmat endorsement. I like living dangerously.

This beauty is Sheila. 

It's somewhat scary how anyone can pass a written test to drive a tank. Made me think of terrorists. Anyway so my boyfriend has me hooked on Red vs. Blue. This came after I found out that you only need to take the written and pass  to get the endorsement.


tinamariewitt1103 : doughnut had the flag
tinamariewitt1103 : teleporter sent me back in time
qoraQ .puqloD : lol
tinamariewitt1103: yellow dies
qoraQ .puqloD : That's Grif. He gets shot a lot
qoraQ .puqloD : and he is orange. LMAO
tinamariewitt1103 : holy shit.. church bye bye
qoraQ .puqloD: And that is just the beginning of church's problems with death
tinamariewitt1103: lol
tinamariewitt1103: and that is why I need my tank endorsement
qoraQ .puqloD: lmao
tinamariewitt1103 : so I can be the lady in the tank
qoraQ .puqloD: Hello pretty Tank Lady.

Red vs. Blue Episode 1

That was about the first 8 episodes of Season 1. So it comes to my attention that when I get my class N endorsement I will be able to pick up chicks. At least that was Tucker's idea for what the tank was for since no one but Caboose knew how to drive the tank. But know one knew that Caboose had activated the tutorial for driving Sheila.

I could drive Sheila provided she didn't tell me how to drive her. I like to press buttons and figure things out for myself and well her voice would be every bit as annoying as the GPS units you can get these days. I HATE those. Besides Sheila would like how I handled her.

If you get hooked on RVB well You're Welcome.

July Birthday

Today is the Hubby's birthday. He turns a whopping 43 years. So his birthday present from me this morning so far has been swift kicks to his backside. I still have yet to make it to 43.

We are gonna party all weekend probably go to the lake at some point not sure. I am making an antelope roast for him with potatoes. We will have ice cream for dessert. Tomorrow we will have the cake.

*Update*
He came home drunk. Said he was only gonna have one drink and ended up having his brother drive him home. Needless to say I wasn't sympathetic to his plight. I was rather pissy. As for those kicks that I never finished?? Well I think he needs them. 

Horrible things I did as a kid : Tormenting my brother because it was easy.

Picture this:

It was a fall day, we were going to school. My middle brother and I would walk to school with our mom since it was only a block away. I was still young enough to care about watching cartoons and that is pretty much what I thought about all day. I was also charged with the responsibility of bringing my brother home in the afternoons. After all I was the eldest sibling and my mom trusted me.

So I don't know where the irrational fear of the weather came from but for some reason my brother was TERRIFIED of tornadoes and I knew it. (insert evil laugh here)

It was a typical fall day and still fairly decent with the weather as far as Sept or October was considered. So we were walking home and the leaves had all fallen to the ground and some of them were crispy so if you walked on them they would crunch. Well the wind had caught them and was swirling them in a circle and the leaves rattled and that was when I got my devious plan.

I wanted to watch cartoons. I had enough of school stuff and wanted to watch my favorite shows. (I can't remember now what they were.) So we were just 5 feet from turning the corner to the home stretch when the leaves started really circling because the wind had picked up.

You can see where this is going...

I told my then 5 year old brother that the leaves behind him were a tornado and it was gonna get him. He FREAKED out and took off! I was left to howling with laughter because it was the funniest sight I had seen all day and of course I am a MEAN older sister. What can I say?

Needless to say I pretty much asked for that spanking. But it didn't stop me. 

The horrible things I did as kid

I am the older sister to two younger brothers. I would torture, tease and generally pull stupid big sibling pranks. Depending on whether or not my brothers told on me or if I did the prank blatantly would determine whether or not if I got into trouble with our mom.

One such incident I remember clearly goes like this. 

We were living in my grandpa's house while he lived in California and on this particular day it was raining. Our mom had told us to find something to do since cartoons weren't on. So my brothers and I decided to play hide and seek. My grandpa's house happens to be a two story home (ground level and then a basement). Often we would just stay to the ground level of the home for hide and seek and pretty soon that got boring. I was devising several new hiding places and decided to use the basement. 

*side note* Our basement had a place under the stairs that even I was terrified. I am not sure why, maybe it was just that it was scarily pitch black that not even a flashlight could illuminate the dark. (That was my 10 year old logic) 

Several rounds of hide and seek and things got really boring. So I decided to liven things up and I dared my middle brother to go downstairs. He wasn't stupid by any means and told me only if I go with him. Ok so knowing I was bigger and faster than he was went with him. 

We made it all the way to the bottom of the stairs where I shoved him and took off up the stairs where I turned the light off and slammed the door. Then just as quickly you could hear my middle brother HOWLING because he was locked in the dark. I cracked open the door to the landing and hollered down at him that the Witch under the stairs was gonna get him and about then I heard him hauling ASS up those stairs which I fumbled closing the door because I was laughing so hysterically. 

Because our mom was such a good mom she came to investigate the noise to find me with my back against the door blocking my brother's escape. She asked me what I was doing and where was my brother. I told her we were playing a game and that he was downstairs and at that particular moment he let out a terrified yell, screaming for me to open the door and hollering for our mom. She moves me and opens the door to find my brother standing on the stair just below the door in tears, red faced and just having himself a fit. 

I wasn't impressed and was laughing because I thought it was funny. She turned, after grabbing my brother and giving him hugs and calming him down, and told me that I was in deep shit. The look on her face made the laughter die and I went to my room. 

Funny how I don't remember if she whipped my ass or not but I think I remember her grounding me. 

See I wasn't a nice sister...

What are your funny childhood stories? Post them in the comments! 

Alien boy and the horrible sisterly things I did

Ok so here is the story of Alien boy.

I was about 11 or 12 years old and was left in charge of my brothers who are 2 and 4 years younger than I am. So that would make them 9(10) and 6(7). So our mom needed to get out of the house and go do some adult things and left me in charge. We were all charged with cleaning our rooms and maintaining the cleanliness of the rest of the house and we were also told to stay inside while she was gone.

Well because of the way our house was set up my window to my room was also on the side where the front porch was and often during the summer I left it open a crack for the cool air during the night. Well my brothers and I had dinner with my mom and she left to go do whatever it was she was doing. I don't know what possessed me to start picking on my my brother who is about 9 or 10, (Maybe its because I am a horrible big sister) but I got our youngest brother (6 or 7) to side with me about picking on our 9 year old brother.

Anyway so we started with just all out picking on him. First it was taking things from him and just generally being mean and then it was locking him outside where I taunted him that mom was gonna come home any min and he would get in trouble for being outside. Well some how the tables were flipped and he locked us out of the house and I thought I was the cocky one and said go ahead I would be able get in through my window. Little did I know he had already locked it on me so here I sat on the front porch locked out of the house. I was pretty useless about getting in. Nothing short of breaking a window was gonna get my youngest brother and I back in. Well that is until I had the brilliant plan to show my brother who had locked himself in the house just how much of a good time we were having.

So I got my youngest brother in on my plan and we decided that playing in the dark outside was the best idea ever! We were spinning around making the Earth look like it was going warp speed and then we would sit down and watch it spin. So then my other brother comes out of the house to see what we were doing and little did I know he had locked the door behind him.

Then I snuck off to see if I could get back in the house and it was locked. I knew then that we would all be in trouble so because I knew by then that he had locked the door I started really being mean by calling him names. The name we settled on was Alien boy. We taunted him that the mother-ship was gonna come home and get him which in itself was hilarious because we knew she was gonna get us all and I would probably lose my babysitting status. But I didn't care.

It's 10 O'clock and our mom comes pulling in and see us on the porch and goes Why are you all outside? I thought I told you to stay in the house? Aliens must have abducted my mind because I know I told you to stay in the house.

AT this point my youngest brother and I just rolled off the porch where we were. My other brother didn't find this the least bit funny and our mom couldn't figure out what was so freaking hilarious. All I could say in short gasps was Alien... Boy.... Levi... and scowling. Our mom finally put it all together and goes OMG Levi I am soooo sorry to which just made my youngest brother and I die even harder laughing. I keep going over in my mind what she said. Aliens must have abducted my mind.

That phrase brings a smile to my face even today.

I have more stories like this.. stay tuned. I think we all needed that laugh because of the recent scary shit that was going on before. I hope this makes you think of what you did to your sibs if you had them. Next time I will share Leaf Tornado or Dead G.I Joe's and the my little pony mishap.

You can't trust anyone pt. 2: Closure

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You can't trust anyone

So I sent my kids to a friends house to play. They do this all the time so there were no qualms about them going over there today.  They get over there and the kid and his family aren't home. Ok my bad, but at least the kids were out of the house for 5 mins. In the time it took them to walk over there and walk home a Fed -Ex driver was driving around delivering packages.

I think the Fed-Ex guy is a pedophile and that my kids are smarter than him. Apparently on their way back home the Fed -Ex driver stopped and was going to deliver the package to my neighbors but changed his mind and started following my kids. My son stops moving and my daughter keeps walking the Fed-Ex guy is still following my daughter at a snail pace. My son races to catch up with his sister and they run and hide. The Fed-Ex guy speeds up and drives past the hiding place and ends up turning around in another drive way. Sees my kids and veers towards the ditch. My kids hide again behind a hill where Fed-Ex guy can't see them and Fed -Ex guy drives past the kids' hiding place and turns into the neighbors yard. The kids come flying through the door telling me and their dad.

So because I didn't actually see what was going on I really don't know what the intention of the Fed-Ex guy. My thought process is A) you don't talk to strangers, B) you don't accept anything from someone you don't know and C) you tell an adult. All of which my kids did! Yay kids!

My question is why is Fed-Ex following kids. For packages sometimes you have to sign for them and minors can't sign for them or incapacitated adults can't sign for them either. The Fed-Ex, mail carrier, UPS has to judge someone competent to deliver the package to or leave it on the door step or leave a note saying come pick up your parcel. You aren't supposed to chase kids. It was all very creepy.

I can't report this because I don't know the guy delivering for Fed-Ex and I didn't know the truck number or route number. At this point it would be my word/my kids' word against Fed-Ex. The cops around here have to wait for something drastic to happen before they do anything about it. God forbid my kid go missing and I seen a Fed-Ex truck hauling ass away from the last place I seen my kid! The law sucks.