Friday, March 9, 2012

Parenting fail

Ok I know that as a parent we can't always monitor what our kids are doing and saying all the time especially while they are away from us. But it stands to reason that a lot of us take precautions about what they watch and listen to.

So with that said, here is the funny for the day.

I allowed the kids to play with a neighbor boy. I told them I wanted them home at 6 so they could sit down and have dinner. The weather was beautiful. Figured it would get them out of the house for a bit. And it was PEACEFUL for about an hour.

I got the cherry cobbler on in the crock pot. It smells really yummy. Then I sat down. I knew this was a bad idea but went with it anyway. So I am surfing the net with my elder son and pretty soon my youngest child comes home.

She has a pinched look on her face and I knew something was wrong. This is the following conversation. ( H = her, M = me.)

M: What's wrong baby?
H: *just stares with lips pinched*
M: what's the matter, what happened?
H: They are calling me names.
M: Like what?
H: pervert and something else I forget
M: Are you sure?
H: *shakes her head yes very vigorously.
M: Do you know what that means?
H: No.
M: Ok

I look at my elder son and tell him to go get his brother and bring him home.

Elder son comes in the door with younger son and the water works begin. I am trying hard not to show how amusing this is to me. (YS = younger son, M = me and ES = Elder son.) Before I have a chance to ask younger son anything he starts in.

YS: I didn't call her that!
M: Wait ... call her what?
YS: Whatever she told you!
M: How do you know she said anything? She could have just come home.
YS: *shrug*
M: So did you call her a pervert?
YS: *hesitates* Neighbor boy called her a pervert.
M: What else did you guys call her?
YS: It wasn't me! Neighbor boy called her a pervert and a vagina.
M: Do you know what a pervert is?
YS: No.
M: Do you know what a vagina is?
YS: It's a part on a woman's body.
M: Show me.
YS: *points to sister's crotch region*
M: *I turn around*

At this point I am trying to not lose it. I had to put on my parent face and deal. So I turn to the kids and said that if they didn't know what something was they shouldn't be using it as if they knew what it meant. So while I wasn't telling them the definition of pervert, i managed to make ES lose his mind.

M to YS: Does your sister look like a vagina?
ES: *dying!!*
M: *still staring at YS and H* Well does she?
YS: umm no?
M: If you don't know what one looks like how can you call her that?
ES: *still dying, like losing his breath laughing so hard*

Also it was starting to rub off.

M: don't call your sister a Vagina or a pervert.
M to ES: Go use your ivagination somewhere else.

Then I died laughing... sort of.

Then curiosity got the best of me.

M to YS: Have you seen a vagina?

Before YS could answer ES says YES and they are gross!

M to ES: When have you seen a vagina?
ES: In the boys locker room.
M: What??
ES: She got confused and ran in and then ran out.
M: What?? You didn't see a vagina.. you seen a naked girl and maybe a bit of her naughty parts. Not a vagina..
ES: *beet red and not breathing because he was laughing so hard*

By this time the little kids have excused themselves and got their jammies on. I am at my keyboard relating this entire incident to my bf who is working and can't exactly laugh out loud due to his working in an office where people are on the phones..

Yes I am that evil and apparently an epic parenting fail.. Someone please laugh and comment that I am not the only one that has to have the genital talk with kids......

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