We all know what Golden Showers are right? If you don't then chances are you either are too young, not experienced enough or just plain don't surf the internet enough. At some point during our teen years and adult lives we take what is called a purity test to see how "innocent" we are or how "naughty" we think we are or would like to be. I am sure you can Google the words purity test and find the 150 question test and take it and if you are really internet savvy you could also Google Golden Showers and get a Wikipedia reference as well. Not to mention you could also Google/Yahoo image Golden showers to find a visual. NOT that I am recommending this. But if you want to tame the hunger for knowledge there you go. You're welcome.
I am telling you NOW that I will not ever be involved in scat porn or snuff films. Those are just too extreme to me. While I know what golden showers are I also don't participate in them unless it's relieving my bladder into a toilet.
So anyway it's the 4th of July and like most American's I am celebrating my freedom with sparklers, m80's, screamer bottle rockets, fountains and watching the neighbors light off their mortar based fireworks. We lit neon sparklers, and smoke bombs, screamers and a few others and watched how pretty sparks shot out of the top as we set flame to the fuses. It was great to see the looks on my kids' faces light up (no pun intended) at the different colors that each firework was made up from. Before we made it outside we were taking inventory of what we had so we could take the proper precautions for safety and not be like the dumb ass last night that was handing his 4 year old son m16's and m80's with a short fuse. I had visions of blood spurting from a mangled hand that the poor kid would never be able to use normally again.
Anyway so as my Step-Dad was reading off some of the names of the fountain fireworks he came across one labeled Golden Shower. My mom not one to openly talk sex and tell raunchy sex jokes was laughing so hard she was crying because it totally was lost on my Step-Dad that as he was reading these names off some of them might be mistaken for porn movies or sex acts. Case in point Golden Showers with Sparks. Then he comes back to it, my husband, mom and I had finally calmed down long enough to tell him what he missed and he mouthed off "Well I know what a Golden Shower is but I never seen it do that before." And I thought we were gonna die. It was even more hilarious because the kids had no idea what we were laughing at.
Needless to say we had a happy and fun July 4th!
I am telling you NOW that I will not ever be involved in scat porn or snuff films. Those are just too extreme to me. While I know what golden showers are I also don't participate in them unless it's relieving my bladder into a toilet.
So anyway it's the 4th of July and like most American's I am celebrating my freedom with sparklers, m80's, screamer bottle rockets, fountains and watching the neighbors light off their mortar based fireworks. We lit neon sparklers, and smoke bombs, screamers and a few others and watched how pretty sparks shot out of the top as we set flame to the fuses. It was great to see the looks on my kids' faces light up (no pun intended) at the different colors that each firework was made up from. Before we made it outside we were taking inventory of what we had so we could take the proper precautions for safety and not be like the dumb ass last night that was handing his 4 year old son m16's and m80's with a short fuse. I had visions of blood spurting from a mangled hand that the poor kid would never be able to use normally again.
Anyway so as my Step-Dad was reading off some of the names of the fountain fireworks he came across one labeled Golden Shower. My mom not one to openly talk sex and tell raunchy sex jokes was laughing so hard she was crying because it totally was lost on my Step-Dad that as he was reading these names off some of them might be mistaken for porn movies or sex acts. Case in point Golden Showers with Sparks. Then he comes back to it, my husband, mom and I had finally calmed down long enough to tell him what he missed and he mouthed off "Well I know what a Golden Shower is but I never seen it do that before." And I thought we were gonna die. It was even more hilarious because the kids had no idea what we were laughing at.
Needless to say we had a happy and fun July 4th!
1 comment:
Reminds me of the George Carlin thing where he talks about the Snapper brand of lawnmowers:
"Never seen a pussy that could cut grass, but goddamn I'd sure as hell like to."
I love it when snazzy resorts advertise that they have "watersports." Here in Europe I never really know what they mean.
None of that for me. Never even thought about experimenting with that, back in the day.
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